Withnail: Sulking up the hill. I never thought he'd come all this way. Voila! Don't vent spleen on me, I'm in the same boat! Marwood: Then they must be delighted with your career. Withnail: This is me naked in a corner! The fuel and wood situation. Locations, see. Withnail: Scrubbers! I must go home at once and discuss his problems in depth. Danny: What are you doing up here, then? You need working on, boy! As a youth I used to weep in butcher's shops. General: Marwood: "I f*** arses"? Marwood : No, no, you can't. It's impossible, I swear it. [overtaking a car on the motorway] It's society's crime, not ours. I'm in considerable danger here, I must get out of here at once. Monty: Is Marwood in love with Withnail? I'm preparing myself to forgive you. No more than you have. My heart's beating like a f***ed clock! Withnail: How can it be so cold in here? Monty: Monty: [to the cat] you beastly little parasite how dare you, you little thug how dare you, arrgh beastly ungrateful little swine. He won't gore you. You are invited to spend an hilarious weekend in the English countryside. No, he'd like a bit of pleading. Throwing themselves into the road gladly to escape all this hideousness. Sophocles. This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight. This dreadful little Israelite. It's horrible really but they like that, the little girls. Sons are the anchors of a mother's life. [smiling] Marwood: Shat on by Tories, shovelled up by Labour. Withnail: (He spits out a globule of phlegm) Jesus, look at that. I fail to see my family's of any interest to you. [the bedroom door slowly opens and the intruder enters with a torch] Withnail: [screwing his eyes shut in terror, moaning] We mean no harm! Listen, I don't know what my f acquaintance did to upset you but it's nothing to do with me. Withnail: Burnt! Having said that, I now intend to leave for London. Jake: Withnail: What's in your hump? He's a madman. Marwood: How can it be so cold in here? Withnail: They are playing poker with bottle tops and a . Danny: It's available on Why don't I get any soup? Even the wankers on the site wouldn't drink that! Look at him! extends arm with umbrella straight up to sky, seeing a road sign reading "ACCIDENT BLACK SPOT. Throwing themselves into the road gladly to escape all this hideousness! How dare you call me inhumane?! Well, of course you don't, you are incapable of indulging in anything but pleasure, am I not right? We might wanna do a film in here. Monty, Monty! We worked out it would be handy karma for him to get hold of a suit but he's a very low temperature spade, the Coalman. We'll buy this place and have it knocked down! Withnail: That's what you'd say, but that wouldn't wash with Geoff. I'm glad you're the proprietor, I was gonna have to have a word with you anyway. [after being threatened by Jake the poacher] Gi' me one in t' knee. Oh my boys, my boys, we are at the end of an age! Withnail: You've had an audition. Listen, I think you should strangle it instantly in case it starts trying to make friends with us. I mean look at us! Marwood: It's a part I intend to play, Uncle. The older order changeth, yielding place to new. Withnail: I dislike relatives in general and in particular mine. Withnail hands Marwood the bag of shopping and jumps over the wall to safety. Marwood: Why don't you wash up occasionally like any other human being? We'll be back. Quite freaked me at the time. It will pass. [eyes filling with tears] We're doing a feature for Country Life. Marwood: Black puddings are no good to us. Look at me, I'm 30 in a month and I've got a sole flapping off my shoe. Withnail: What the f*** are you talking about? Withnail: I could take double anything you could! Look at that, accident black spot! It will die, it will die! Look at Geoff Woade! These pheasants are for my pot. Yes, as a matter of fact I have. If I see that silage heap hanging about up here, *I'll take the bastard axe to him*! Well, don't. "Here, Hare, Here" -Monty (responding to rabbit nailed to door . Danny: No, man. Please don't. Withnail: You have made it high. It's a bloody chicken! Danny: Withnail: There's a man over there that doesn't like the perfume, the big one. [to Withnail] Monty: I demand to have some booze!. The carrot has mystery. You're looking very beautiful, man. Screaming like a madman he moves towards the bull, which turns around and runs back through the gate. How like a god! According to these instructions, you refuse everything but a urine sample. Uncle Monty: Get that damned little swine out of here! I'm the firelighter and fuel collector. Danny's here. Prostitutes for the bees. I'll show the lot of you! Withnail: Nor women neither. Why don't you wash up occasionally like any other human being? Black puddings are no good to us. "Oh no, please, don't pull my head off." Withnail: Ive told you why. We were wondering if we could possibly purchase a pheasant off of you. It's society's crime, not ours. No! "Oh no, please, don't pull my head off." Plot - Withnail and "I" - the narrator - are two aspiring actors and friends who are looking for a job in London without success. quotes duty call warfare modern war. Peter Marwood (I): Stop saying that Withnail, of course hes the fucking farmer! Marwood: I think there may be something living in there, I think there may be something alive. Withnail: [he throws the shopping the air and it scatters in the mud. Oh, you little traitors. *You'll all suffer*! Withnail: I think a drink, don't you? Because I want to walk you to the station. Monty: You'll have to find us first. I feel like a pig shat in my head. He's so mauve, we don't know what he's planning. The movie, which takes place in England in late 1969, involves the misadventures of a pair of chronically unemployed actors. Do as he says. Time change. Withnail: Marwood: Withnail, you bastard, wake up. What are we going to do about it? Withnail: Must be 20,000 sheep up there on those volcanoes, we've got a plate full of carrots. Look at me, I'm 30 in a month and I've got a sole flapping off my shoe . We can't go on like this. Wait till the morning, we'll go in together. Withnail: "Boy lands plum role for top Italian director" Course he does! Withnail: . Withnail: My heart's beating like a fucked clock! We're incompatible. Withnail: Surrounded by trees and nature one feels a *glorious* stirring on the senses, a rejection of *poisonous* inhibition, and a *fecund* motion of the soul. Marwood: You can stuff it up your arse for nothing and fuck off while you're doing it! Wake up, you bastard or I burn this bastard bed down! Chin-chin. You've got a rush. Ponce! I must go home at once and discuss his problems in depth. How right you are, how right you are. And now I'm calling you one. You been away? How dare you! Withnail: Old suit?! Danny: If you're hanging on to a rising balloon, you're presented with a difficult decision - let go before it's too late or hang on and keep getting higher, posing the question: how long can you keep a grip on the rope? All right here? All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. It's wearing a yellow sock. I could hardly piss straight with fear. What have you done to them? *Get-in-the-back-of-the-van*! Listen, we're bona fide. Withnail unfolds the note and hands it to Monty. Withnail hands Marwood the bag of shopping and jumps over the wall to safety. You can never, never disguise it. [sticking out his yellowy tongue] Mrs. Parkin: Will it? Oh dear, no, no, no, I'd be sucked into his trap. That's a very good idea. Marwood: Marwood: The entire sink's gone rotten. [voiceover] Danny: If I medicined you, you'd think a brain tumour was a birthday present! He winces as he stretches his leg]. *Bastards*! Add spice to it. He can eat his fucking radish. [approaching the pub] What a piece of work is a man. Marwood: Jake: I've no idea. Because if you do, I'll have to give you a dose of medicine. Marwood: I might fetch you up a rabbit. Best kill it quick before it tries to make friends with us. Withnail: Withnail: Withnail: Marwood puts his hand on Withnail's shoulder, they've arrived at the cottage, it's cold and dark, amorously puts his hand on Marwood's arm as he peels vegetables, he pulls its head off and tips some pills out of it, stands barefoot, about to leave Withnail and Marwood's flat. Withnail and I is a comedy-drama film which got pretty popular. Uncle Monty: Oh! This is a court, man. moment in a TV show, movie, or music video you want to share. Monty: Marwood: Don't suppose you've engaged, have you? Withnail: (Stirring) I deny all accusations. Withnail: [whispering] He's going into your room. Little tarts, they love it! But sooner or later you've got to get out because it's crashing. It's impossible, I swear it. All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. Withnail: Scrubbers! Dead down the drain? And if I spike you, you'll know you've been spoken to. Monty: 1 likes. It takes away your appetite just looking at it. Marwood: [eating chips while taking a bath] Ive got your saveloy. Marwood: (Voice-over) Danny's here. The movie, which takes place in England in late 1969, involves the misadventures of a pair of chronically unemployed actors. We do it wrong, being so majestical. Oh, Baudelaire. I might come and see you lads in the week. Peter Marwood ("I"): Stop saying that Withnail, of course he's the fucking farmer! Uncle Monty: (referring to his cat) Yet again that oaf has destroyed my day! [after coming out of a field, Withnail hasn't closed the gate properly, and a bull walks through it. Anyway, I loathe those Russian plays. Withnail: Danny: So he looks at the Coalman and says, "What's all this? Clearly a myth. Look at us! Withnail: Forgive me, it was inconsiderate of me not to have telegrammed. Web. Hare. Lets take a look at the following list and find out the best Withnail and I quotes. Here is the clip. Nothing that reasonable members of society demand as their rights! Something's got to be done. Have you been away? Danny: Cool your boots, man. Withnail: Withnail: Listen, I know what you're thinking but I had no alternative. They can handle the kaftan, they can't handle the bell. But sooner or later you got to get out, because it's crashing. Vegetables again. . How dare you tell him I'm a toilet trader?! Listen, we're bona fide, we're not from London. [cheerfully hopping back over the wall] Danny: Marwood: I recommend you smoke some more grass. Uncle Monty: Oh my boys, my boys, we are at the end of an age! Alright, we're going to have to work quickly. I'll sleep here. Followed by yet another anecdote about his sensitive crimes in a punt with a chap called Norman who had red hair and a book of poetry stained with the butter drips from crumpets. Who says it's a Camberwell Carrot? Isaac Parkin: I'm a trained actor reduced to the status of a bum. I'm not going to understudy anybody. [voiceover] Where's the aspirins? "Geoff Woade is feeling better and is now prepared to step back into society and start tossing his orb about." And the Coalman looks at him and says, "Do you think you look normal, Your Honour?" And indeed it goes so heavily with my disposition that this goodly frame, the earth, seems to me a sterile promontory. Withnail: You've got soup. I don't care where you come from! Withnail: If I ever see that silage-heap hanging about up here, I'll take the bastard axe to him. Marwood: Find your neutral space. Marwood: Stop saying that, Withnail, of course he's the f***ing farmer! So, there's this judge sitting there in a cape like fucking Batman with this really rather far-out looking hat. We don't want a rabbit, we want a pheasant. Bastard asked me to understudy Konstantin in The Seagull. These aren't accidents, they're throwing themselves into the road! We live in a land of weather forecasts and breakfasts that set in, shat on by Tories, shovelled up by Labour, and here we are, we three; perhaps the last island of beauty in the world. Well, I'd hardly say that. Why can't I get on television? How infinite in faculties! You haven't slept in sixty hours, you're in no state to tackle it. Search, discover and share your favorite Withnail And I GIFs. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. His mechanism's gone, he's had more drugs than you've had hot dinners! You won't keep us anywhere. Monty: Looney Tunes Golden Collection: Volume 1 - S01E04 High Diving Hare, Looney Tunes Golden Collection V.2 - S01E11 Tortoise Beats Hare, [SINGING] Hare Krishna, Hare Lama Hare Krishna, Looney Tunes Golden Collection: Volume 1 - S01E08 Water, Water Every Hare, Looney Tunes Golden Collection: Volume 1 - S01E37 Frigid Hare, Looney Tunes Golden Collection V.2 - S01E13 Slick Hare. Withnail: Well, that can't be sensible, can it? Goes into court in his caftan and a bell. Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the "I" of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny). Monty: It's you he wants. Something's got to be done. Marwood: Change down, man.